literature

You belong with me - Chap. 38

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"Are you sure, Lils?" Sam asked, leaving the bathroom as she brushed her hair. Bree was ready, sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for her friend.

"I'm sure, have fun," Lily answered, barely looking up from the book she was reading. "I'll be fine."

"Bye, girls!" Mary said, leaving the room with a smile; she had a date with the seventh-year she was seeing.

"Tell us how it went!" Brianna yelled at her when she was already gone, but they could hear her giggling as she went down the stairs.

Sam looked at Lily again, leaving the brush on the night table, and her friend stared at her raising her eyebrows.

"Go!"

They finally did as she told them, going down the stairs slightly doubtful; for some reason, their friend had decided she would be spending the 14th of February at Hogwarts instead of going to Hogsmeade with the gang.

When they were almost at the Common Room, they saw the marauders waiting for them around the fireplace. At the sight of them, Sirius whistled.

"It was for Bree, not for you, Perks," Sirius cleared up when they arrived to his side, and the girl threw him a poisoned look that made him laugh. "Just kidding; you look pretty as well." Sam grimaced, but she took her bangs out of her eyes, slightly blushed.

"Ready?" asked Remus, tucking his hands in his pockets and gesturing to the portrait. "Becca and Eli are waiting for us at the Entrance Hall."

"Let's go, then. Nervous, Remus? I've heard it's your first Valentine's Day oficial date." Bree asked with a smile, taking the arm Sirius was offering her and walking with him towards the portrait.

"Wait, where's Lily?" James asked, stopping halfway.

"She's staying," Sam answered, going through the potrait hole after Peter.

The group left the place talking animatedly, complaining about the rain that had just begun to fall. When they arrived at the ground floor, they met the two Ravenclaws waiting for them at the foot of the staircase. The Hall was full of students waiting for their dates or their friends, and the sound of their conversations covered the one of the rain tapping the windows.

"Hey," Becca greeted the, approaching to them with a smile and planting a kiss on Remus' lips, who put his arm around her waist and smiled.

"Well, now's when we say goodbye," said the lycanthrope, waving at everyone. "Maybe we'll see you later at The Three Broomsticks."

And they walked away. Despite they had been dating for a while now, that day it was, like Brianna had said, their first 'official' date (if they didn't take into account that afternoon before Christmass that they had had a coffee after leaving Becca's house), and they both felt like silly, romantic fourteen-year-olds, nevous and anxious about that day.

"They are so cute," Bree commented, watching them leave with a smile on her lips. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Everything's cute for you," he said, as he used to do when his friend used that adjective, which, by the way, was quite often.

"Well, shall we go?" Asked Eli, who had already appropriately greeted his girlfriend and was waiting next to her, holding her hand.

"You're coming with us?" Peter asked, puzzled; they hada ll assumed Eli and Sam were leaving on their own too..

"Yep," Sam answered, smiling at the boy. "We are not really into all the Valentine's fuss. We prefer going with you blokes."

"Besides, you're already used to us snogging in public, right?" Eli added, making the marauders smile, while Sam threw him a reproachfull look.

"You really are like an old married couple," Sirius commented, and Bree laughed. Sam looked at him with her eyebrows raised.

"The fact that I'm in a good mood doesn't mean I am capable of supressing my killer instincts. I'd advise you to watch out, Black."

"We should better go before it starts raining harder." Said Peter, looking at the brunette, who seemed to be the only one who ever paid attention to him.

They all nodded and headed to the doors, but Sirius suddenly stopped.

"Wait. Where's James?"

Everyone looked at each other, puzzled. He was with them just a moment ago!

"I think he didn't come after me, and I was the last one." Peter said shyly.

"I went after you," Sam corrected him, frowning a little. "And now that I think about it, I was the one to close the portrait."

"Do you really think it's that odd?" Asked Eli, who had already opened the door and stared at them with his eyebrows raised. "Lily's staying at the castle and James is missing. Can't you do the math?"

When they arrived at Hogsmeade, the rain was pouring heavily, watering down their plans of going window shopping and stopping by Zonko's before going to The Three Broomsticks. The decision of heading straight to the dry and warm shelter of the pub was unanimous and, crowding together under the shop's roofs, they quickly walked there.

When they entered, Sam groaned: the place was crammed with students and other clients who looked for a haven.

"There's no way we'll find seats here," Eli complained, moving away from the door tol et pass a short wizard who ran to the counter.

Sirius smiled arrogantly.

"Leave that to me," he said, removing his arm from Brianna's shoulders and approaching the counter, leaning on it followed by his friends. "Rosie!" he exclaimed with sycophancy when the curvy woman appeared carrying an empty tray. Rosmerta's face lit up when she saw him, and a smile from ear to ear appeared on it.

"Sirius!" She said, approaching to them and exaggeratedly swinging her hips. Samantha made a disgusted noise. "I've missed you. Where's James? Isn't he here today?"

"He's left me," he said, pouting sweetly and making her roar with laughter "D'you have a seat for us, Rosie? Looks like the place's full…"

"Of course I have a seat for my favorite costumer," she said, winking and gesturing them to follow her.

Once at their table, and after ordering Madame Rosmerta five bottles of butter beer, Sirius looked at his friends smugly.

"Manwhore" Sam whispered, though it was loud enough for him to hear. The dark-haired boy stared at her, outraged.

"Well, then go outside and enjoy the rain, Perks." He said bitterly, taking his silky hair out of his eyes and stucking his tongue out at hher.

"It's been great, Sirius, thank you." Eli rushed to say, kissing his girlfriend before she could say anything else. She glared at him, but, at his puppy eyes, she smiled.

Sirius smirked, pleased, and while he wasn't looking, Bree rolled he reyes with a slight smile.

"Isn't that Remus?" Peter exclaimed, sticking his face to the window. Everyone turned, but there was no one there anymore.

"Outside? Under the rain?" Sirius asked skeptically "I think you're hallucinating, mate."

"I'm telling you, it was Remus!" said the kid, still looking outside "He was running after a blonde who was just as soaked as he was."

"Running under the rain? A day like today?" the grey-eyes boy repeated; he still couldn't believe it.

"Sounds like Becca." The other three said in unison, and then laughed. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Sometimes I forget that bird is literally a psycopath." He said. "Ouch! Eli, control your girlfriend."

He added after receiving a kick, rubbing his knee and glaring at Samantha. She smiled angelically.

They chatted for a long while, laughing and joking, but also talking about more serious topics, but there was something that didn't leave Sirius' thoughts during the whole day: Bree.

It went all completely naturally, and they both behaved as usual, but seeing Sam and Eli together, the dark-haired boy couldn't help thinking about Brianna and him. Every time Eli put his arma round Sam's shoulders, he wanted to do the same with Bree. Every time the girl cuddled against the Ravenclaw's side and laughed, he wished Brianna to do it. Every time Eli stroked Samantha's fingers, he felt the impulse of extending his arm and touching Bree's hand. Every time Sam buried her face into the boy's neck, he almost felt Brianna's breath on his. Every time Eli leant and kissed her, was it on the forehead, the nose or the lips; he imagined Bree and him were the ones doing so.

It was imposible to deny it, he was in love with her and he had spoiled everything for being a bloody coward.

The qualms he had about hurting Bree, even if they were real, had never been the true reason he had tried to avoid in any way he could that their relationship turned in something other than a frienship; what had gotten into his way had been cowardice.

Yes, he was afraid of hurting Brianna, and he knew he was quite capable of doing so, but he was so selfish that he could have let all of that aside and tell her how he felt; if that was the only thing standing between them and a relationship, he could have quickly forgoten it, because he was so in love with Bree, because he wanted to have her in his arms so badly that he would have succumbed to that wish.

But no. That wasn't the only thing. He was scared. Scared to be in love. Merlin, he was even scared of thinking about that stupid word! Up to then, he had done all he could to banish it from his mind, trying to describe what he felt with any word but that one. But it was impossible, because that's what it was: love. He loved Bree. And maybe she had loved him too, but he couldn't know it anymore.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye; she was laughing at something Eli had said, with that bubbly, countageous laughter, covering her tiny mouth with a hand, her round dark eyes shining amused.

How had he been as stupid as to lose her?



Their laughter was all that could be heard, apart from the rain falling on the street, the roofs and the few passer-bys that hadn't found a place to shelter yet.

Rebecca lay back against the establishment's wall and slipped on it, sitting on the floor, laughing. Remus, almost breathless, lay on the wall too, but remained standing.

"Well, I caught you," He said when he could breath normally again, turning his head to look at the blonde, who raised an eyebrow. "Will you give me my chocolate now?"

"Mmm I don't know," she said childishly, taking a huge bar out of her pocket and observing it. "It's the last one." He burst out laughing.

"And why do you think I've been chasing you around the village?" He sat next to her and tried to snatch the chocolate.

"That's not chivalrous at all," Becca said with a malicious smile.

"It's chocolate. I'm never chivalrous when it comes to chocolate, especially if they've stolen in from me." He replied, extending his arm again; but she switched the bar to her right hand, raising her arm in order to keep it away from him.

"So, what are you willing to give me for it?" She said, raising her eyebrows and flirtatiously battering her eyelashes. Remus swallowed loudly.

"You shouldn't do that on the street, y'know? You could provoke a crash or something." He commented, leaning and kissing her as she laughed. "Was that enough?" he asked, pulling away a little, staring at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Mmm," Rebecca pretended to think about it. "I think not." She kissed him clutched to his chest as he pulled her closer to him with a hand on the back of her neck.

"What 'bout that?"

She shook her head, disheveling the soaking blonde hair.

"Don't think so"

He laughed again, and then kissed her again.

"And that?"

"Maybe." Another kiss. "Fine, you win." She said, handing him the chocolate and kissing his nose. He laughed, parting the chocolate and giving her half of it.

"We should go to The Three Broomsticks," he commented, wolfing down his chocolate in two bites. "You'll get sick."

Rebecca rolled her eyes, standing up.

"I've already told you I never get sick. Stop worrying about me. Besides, you're soaking wet too."

He stood up and kissed her.

"Right, but I'm a werewolf." She rolled her eyes and he laughed, taking her hand and heading to the pub.

Even though he joked about his lycanthropy, Rebecca couldn't help feeling a jab in her chest every time they mentioned it, because, deep inside, that same lycanthropy was the one that made the foundation of their relationship so weak, and the one that could shatter it in the blink of an eye, if Remus allowed it.

They were happy, yes, happier than ever, but when she saw it, when she looked into his eyes, she saw it. She saw the guilt, a guilt that consumed him and flooded his thoughts. Why was Remus unable to love himself? Rebecca did all she could, all that was within her reach to strenghten the boy's self-esteem and try to sabe their relationship, but sometimes she helpless and frustrated, because not everything depended on her.

Sometimes, when Remus had a good day, she had hope and was optimistic about their future; but some others, especially after every full moon, she thought it was all in vain, that he wasn't ready, that he still had to overcome the issues he had about himself before thinking about being with her.

She tried not to think about it, but as time passed, it was harder to ignored, because she got more and more attached to him, and she needed him so much that she wasn't sure anymore if she would be able to stand it if he left her.

They entered The Three Broomsticks holding hands, soaking as if they had jumped into the lake and shivering so much their teeth chattered. The place was crammed, and even standing on their toe tips, they couldn't see their friends.

"Remus, handsome," called him Madame Rosmerta from behind the counter. When he and Becca turned around to see her (The blonde couldn't help narrowing her eyes with suspicion), the woman made a gesture with her hands towards the tables at the back of the place. Remus smiled, thankful, and headed there with Rebecca.

"So you get on quite well with Madame Rosmerta…" She commented with indifference while they made way among the crowd. Remus chuckled.

"Yeah, mainly thanks to James and Sirius; they are the ones who flirt with her."

"She's a gorgeous woman. She has her curves." She kept saying, and this time, jelousy showed under her apparently indifferent tone. A smile flickered across his lips.

"I guess. But I like curvy blondes." He said, kissing her sweetly.

"We already have a snogging show; Perks and Eli took it," said Sirius' annoying voice. "Look for something more original."

Rebecca separated from Remus and stuck out her tongue at the boy, making herself room next to him while her boyfriend sat in front of her.

"I told you it was them!" Peter squealed as soon as they sat. Everyone looket at them raising an eyebrow.

"Merlin, Moony," said Sirius, moving away from Becca as she shook her hair, soaking him. "You must be really into this nutcase. Running under the rain, dear lord…"



Lily comfortably settled on the fluffiest sofa at the Common Room, which was almost empty except for some first and second-years. She took out some books, parchment and a feather quill, leaving the rucksack aside and getting ready to make her homework.

They had tons of stuff to do (she didn't know how her friends managed not to do them and then just keep approving the subjects), but once she caught the pace, she quickly finished the Potions and Defence essays; now she only had Runes, Arithmancy and Transfiguration. She threw the quill to the table and rubbed her eyes, sinking even more into the sofa with a book opened on her lap; despite the fire was burning in the fireplace, she was really cold, probably because she was barefoot. She curled up, trying to warm up a little, and a couple of arms appeared from behind the sofa and covered her with a blanket.

She tried to turn around to see who was it, but he had already went around the sofa and smiled leaning against one of its arms.

"Hello, Lily," said James merrily, and she was so surprised to see him that she said nothing. "I've thought you were cold, so I've brought you a blanket."

"Uhm, thank you, James," she replied, bewildered. It had been a lovely gesture, but she was still very surprised "What are you doing here?"

The boy gave her a crooked smile and she rushed to say:

"I didn't mean it to sound like that," she laughed, and he beamed. "I mean, weren't you at Hogsmeade, with the rest?"

He shrugged his shoulders, sitting on the sofa's arm.

"Didn't really feel like going," he said, messing up his hair. "I didn't know you were staying too."

He smiled angelically and she had no idea he was lying.

"Where were you? I hadn't seen you, I could have gone have breakfast with you or something," she said, shifting a bit on her seat and covering herself with the blanket. He nodded towards the table were the first-years were making their homeworks.

"I was sitting over there, w-" The boy bit his tongue before saying he had been watching her; he didn't want to sound like a psychopathic stalker. "Helping them with their Transfiguration homework." Well, that was true, too.

Lily heard a hundred of voices in her head saying "Awwww!", but she ignored them and stopped the exclamation from coming out of her lips. Instead, she said softly:

"That's sweet," James smiled so much that his smile seemed to go around the whole circumference of his head.

"What were you doing?" He asked, taking Lily's rucksack and leaving it on the floor to sit next to her. She snorted and crossed her eyes.

"Homework." James laughed.

"Yeah, I should do that too… Someday."

"Why not starting now?" She said, pushing a book towards him along with a quill and more parchment. James looked at her half closing his eyes, and it was Lily's turn to smile angelically.

"Come ooooon, and you can keep me company." She said, blinking exaggeratedly and making him laugh, not to say his stomach turned and his heart stopped for a second.

"Fine," he said, stretching the sylable with resignation and making himself comfortable with his legs folded.

The talked trivialities for a while as they both worked on their Transfiguration's compositions, and before they noticed, they were already finished. It was truly incredible how at ease they felt with each other, but neither one of them stopped for a second to think about the situation; neither Lily wondering how on Earth she had reached that level of trust with 'Potter'; nor James, analyzing everything she said or thinking a hundred and one ways of wining the redhead over. They just hanged out, and they had a great time.

"So," James said then, writing the full stop to the essay and leaving it on the table. "Are you gonna tell me why did you stay in the castle?"

She looked up, startled, and met his hazel eyes glued on her.

"I don't know what you mean." She said, writing down some more words on her parchment and leaving it aside. She felt his eyes fixed on her and she looked up again.

"C'me on, Lily," he said, tilting his head a bit and smiling lightly. "You love Hogsmeade. Honeydukes, to be more precise. Why didn't you want to go?"

Was it so obvious that something happened to her? Well, clearly, it was to James. Lily hesitated for a second, but then decided to tell him.

"It's my sister," she confessed with a sigh, leaving the book on the floor and sitting facing at him. He did the same, watching her eagerly; he probably wasn't really expecting that the girl would tell him what happened to her. "I've already told you that her, uhm, that I'm not her favorite person,"

James nodded, though he couldn't understand how someone could not like Lily.

"Actually, I've never told you the whole story," she continued, staring sadly at him. "She didn't automatically hate me for being a witch," she explained. "She wanted to be one, too."

Of course, James thought, jealousy. Jealousy always play an important part in rivalry among siblings, but in Petunia's case, they had grown so much that something had broken inside her, damaging forever her relationship with Lily.

"She even wrote to Dumbledore," The redhead kept saying, deciding to omit the role Snape had played in the whole thing, though she couldn't avoid the jab she felt in her chest when she thought of him. "She was so sad, so hurt, and she drifted away from me and forced me to do the same."

"I'm sorry." Said James with honesty, and she smiled at him.

"But I always had hope, y'know?, the hope that everything could go back to what it was. I always thought she'd grow out of it… But now she's started dating this Vernon bloke," her voice changed when she mentioned him, it turned bitter, but she chuckled. "Sorry. It's just that the bloke is really hilarious, you should meet him. Anyway, I have never laughed at him or anything; Tuney didn't even want me to meet him. I just saw him for a second, and she managed to drag him out of the house and away from me"

"Why?"

"Guess she's afraid he'll find out what I am. I used to be sure that Petunia's anger was due to… to the fact that I had something she couldn't have, something that also made my parents proud. But in Vernon, she has found a person so, so normal that it bores you, and I think that's why she clings to him so hard. I believe that, whatever it was that she felt before because I was a witch, now has turned into honest loathing."

James could see how sad Lily was, even though she tried to hide it; after all, she was her sister, and it must had been hard for her that she had drifted away for something she couldn't change.

"Anyway, this is the first time she hasn't written me for my birthday," She said sighing. Her birthday had been on January the 30th, and they had celebrated it at the Common Room with butter beers that the marauders had smuggled from Hogsmeade. "I know it's silly, but until this year, even though she barely talks to me, she had written. My mother's tried to excuse her in her last letter, but today she's admitted that Petunia hasn't forgotten; she just didn't want to write to me. I had to insist a lot for her to tell me. I know it's stupid, my birthday isn't even such a big deal, but it was just one of the things I clutched to in my relationship with Tuney."

James hated Petunia. He hated her so much for making Lily so sad. And he hated Vernon, too, because he was partly guilty.

"I'm really sorry," he said, looking into her eyes and placing a hand on the girl's forearm, which reste don her crossed legs. He didn't know what else to tell her; he couldn't promise her that Petunia would change her mind, because he doubted she would. "But hey, hasn't it been one of your best birthdays? Or you have already forgotten how Sam ended up trying to tuck the cards into Sirius' nose?"

Lily burst out laughing and James heaved an inaudible sigh. He adored watching her laugh. He adored watching her. He adored her bright, large green eyes, her perfect teeth, her small mouth and the musical sound of her laughter. He adored her long, silky red hair; her white skin, her long neck, her slim fingers. He adored being there, sprawled on the sofa with her. He adored the way she moved, the way she raised her eyebrows, the way she wrinkled her nose when it itched. He adored her sarcastic remarks, her explosive temper, her intelligence and sweetness. He adored her.

The redhead was aware of the intensity with which the boy was staring at her. She had been observing him too all the time they had been together; the colour of his eyes and the dark dots around its pupils, the untamable dark hair, the indelible smile; the strong jaw line and his thin but muscular body; his agile and quick movements, his brief but contagious guffaws and how delicate his hands could be; but above all, his way of looking. The way he looked at her, to be more precise.

And now that look was more intense than ever, and Lily was suddenly conscious of his proximity. He extended his arm to tuck one of her red locks behind her ear, and in the moment his thumb brushed her cheek, she made an abrupt and slight movement backwards, almost involuntarily. An angry expression appeared fleetingly in the boy's face, but it quickly disappeared and was replaced by a hurt one. James sighed, and his face turned to look frustrated, but he finally shook his head a little and sat straight.

"I need to talk to you, Lily." He said with determination, staring firmly into her eyes.

No, no, please, we don't have to talk, she thought, sensing where the conversation was going.

"Don't pull that face to me," he scolded her, and a small smile flickered across the girl's lips. "You don't have to say anything, just listen, okay?" He asked. She thought about it for a second and then nodded.

"You have no idea of how much I value this friendship," he started, and she smiled in a gesture that James found encouraging. "So, so much. Especially considering all that had to happen so that we could be friends." Another smile. It was a good start. "But I have to be honest with you, Lily. That's not enough for me." He made a pause, trying to work out the girl's expression. "I suppose you've already guessed that, considering I've kissed you in Christmass. I love being your friend, Lily, but that just isn't enough anymore, and I think it's better to be sincere about it. But I don't want to lose you."

He made another pause, but the redhead's expression was still indecipherable.

"If what you want is a friendship, then I understand and respect that." His eyes were still glued to hers. "I'd rather be your friend than a stranger to you. I don't want to lose what we have; I don't want to lose you." He repeated.

"I don't want to lose that either, James," she said in a whisper, and that instilled courage to the boy, who felt his heart beating faster and a warm feeling flooding him.

"I'm in love with you, Lily," he let out. She wasn't expecting that, but she managed to control herself, and the way her heart pounded was only noticeable to her. "I'm in love with you and that's why being your friend isn't enough for me. But if that's what you need right now, if that's what you want me to be, then I'll just be it."

He stopped again and hesitated for a second, but then said:

"But you can't ask me to stop trying to make you want me to be more than a friend to you, because I won't. I can be your friend, but you have to let me try. You have to let me try to win your heart. You have to stop trying to push me away every time you feel I am too close, either emotional or physically. You have to stop struggling so hard to stay in your comfort zone; you have to promise me that you'll follow your heart, that you'll let me try."

He went quiet again, and he thought he could see a spark in the redhead's green eyes, though he couldn't tell what it meant.

"Will you let me? Will you let me get close to you, show you who I really am? Will you let me show you that I love you?"

The following seconds were literally painful to James, until she broke the silence with an almost inaudible whisper:

"Yes. I'll let you"

He smiled faintly and took her hand, which she didn't move away.

"Thanks. Then I'll wait, and I won't lose hope, at least not until you tell me I don't have a chance with you." James whispered right when the Fat Lady's portrait was opening. "I can be very patient if I want to."

When he heard their friends' voices, he let the redhead's hand go, thinking that the rest had arrived with perfect timing; not having to be alone with him, the girl would have time to process all that had happened between them, and it was the distraction he needed to avoid jumping across the place, squealing excitedly.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he told Lily before the gang saw them. He leant and kissed her cheek, daring to add: "The first of many we'll spend together."

Hello everyone! I'm back, and sooner than expected. This chapter is brief (it should've been part of the previous one), but whatever, I hope that at list it's worth it! I'll be waiting for your opinions:
© 2013 - 2024 bluebran
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SheIsAFreak's avatar
amazing! as always:)