literature

You belong with me - Chap. 1

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Before reading, consider 2 things: this is my first fanfiction, and my first language is not English, I didn't even write this "thinking in English", this is a translation from my story written in Spanish, so I would be extremely grateful if you reviewed correcting and commenting on my grammar and vocabulary besides commenting on the story… Thanks a lot!

THIRD YEAR


A faint ray of sunshine entered through the room's window and illuminated the girl's wavy and thick mane of red hair, which framed a pale, thin and angular face, sprinkled all over with tiny little freckles. She absent-mindedly scratched her delicate nose with the feather quill and kept on writing, to be interrupted seconds later by a couple of soft knocks. When she turned around, a beautiful brunette smiled from the half-opened door.

"Lily, honey, it's five o' clock already"  the girl looked surprised at her wristwatch and nodded.


"Wow, time flies!  I haven't finished writing the letter to Sam yet, but I can do it when we come back…"

"Ok, get ready, then. No hurry. Dad and I will be waiting for you downstairs," The woman answered, with a little bit of excitement.

      Lily couldn't help smiling; she was going to start her third year at Hogwarts, but her mother still got thrilled each time they had to go to Diagon Alley to buy the school books and stuff… actually, her father enjoyed it a lot as well. Petunia, otherwise, locked herself in her room for hours, grumpy, and frowned, scandalized if her mother insisted on giving her some sweet she had bought for her, no matter how muggle it looked. Lily got a little sad when she thought of her sister, but when she glanced at the half-finished letter resting in her desk; she smiled once again, remembering her friends and how she had met them…

*flashback*

   A skinny little redhead walked tearful in the Hogwarts Express' corridors, trying to forget the repugnance and fury that could be read on her sister's face when she said goodbye to her. The word "Freak!" yelled with profound disgust still ringed in her ears when she finally found an empty compartment. She entered in it and hunched against the windowpane, trying to control the shaking caused by the sobs. Seconds later, she heard the door opening, and slightly opening her eyes she could discern through the tears a tall, skinny boy with glasses and black messy hair, who, without even asking, had sat in the seat in front of her. Lily opened her mouth in order to spit out how rude he was, but immediately changed her mind. She didn't want to, and she didn't have the energy to argue with anyone. The dark-haired boy looked at her, slightly interested, wondering about the reason of her crying. Lily straightened up a little on her seat and looked him in the eye, haughty; she didn't want to talk to anybody, but she was expecting at least that the arrogant stranger said hello and introduced himself, or at least apologized for entering without asking for permission. But he didn't. The redhead frowned, and the boy would have sworn that there were sparks coming out of her huge, gorgeous green eyes. That made him smile with smugness, which made Lily's mood even worse, who hunched again against the window, picking up the thread of her thoughts. At that moment, the door was tugged open, and another boy, really good-looking, with black, silky, neck-length hair rushed into the compartment. His grey eyes went from the redhead to the boy, and without hesitating he sat in front of the latter, holding out his hand to him.

"Hi. I'm Sirius Black," He said, smiling sideways. The redhead didn't miss the fact that, despite he did say hello, he hadn't asked for permission to stay either.

"Great," she thought "I have to share the car with a couple of insolent, bigheaded brats."

"I'm James Potter," answered the other one, shaking his hand and smiling too.
Sirius made a movement, as if he was going to shake the girl's hand, but she didn't take the cue and, hesitating, the boy looked at James, who shrugged his shoulders and made a gesture with his hand, indicating him to leave her alone. His mate glanced at her once again, but seemed to decide not to take a shot. Without losing time, the boys started chatting animatedly, ignoring Lily and the kid who entered and sat in front of the girl minutes later.

"I don't want to talk to you." Lily said in a constricted voice, after looking up to the newcomer, a gawky, sallow, sad-looking kid with long black hair, which appeared to have never seen a shampoo bottle.

"Why not?"

"Tuney h-hates me. Because we saw that letter from Dumbledore."

"So what?"

She threw him a look of deep dislike.

"So she's my sister!"

"She's only a…" He caught himself quickly; Lily, too busy trying to wipe her eyes without being noticed, did not hear him.

"But we're going!," He said, unable to suppress the exhilaration in his voice, "This is it! We're off to Hogwarts!"

     She nodded, mopping her eyes, but in spite of herself, she half smiled.

"You'd better be in Slytherin," said Snape, encouraged that she had brightened a little.

"Slytherin?," James said, who had startled, looking around when he heard that word.

"Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" He asked the boy lounged in the seats opposite him.

"My whole family has been in Slytherin," he said, seriously.

"Blimey!," said James, "and I thought you seemed all right!"

Sirius grinned.

"Maybe I'll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"

James lifted an invisible sword.

"Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart! Like my dad."

Snape made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him.

"Got a problem with that?"

"No," said Snape, though his slight sneer said otherwise, "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy."
"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?," interjected Sirius.

James roared with laughter. Lily sat up, rather flushed, and looked from James to Sirius in dislike.

"Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment."

"Oohhhhh…"

James and Sirius imitated her lofty voice; James tried to trip Snape as he passed.

"See ya, Snivellus!" a voice called, as the compartment door slammed…

Once they were out, Lily smiled at him gently.

"Let's go look for another compartment, there must be an empty one… "

     However, no matter how much they walked, every car was full. When they reached the end of the train and looked through the door's glass, they saw a girl with curly, dark brown hair, very slight, with her nose buried in an enormous book.

"What do you think? Not empty, but…," asked Lily, looking at her friend before knocking gently the door with her knuckles. Severus shrugged his shoulders, frowning a little. He wasn't really fond of the idea of fraternizing with other students: he hadn't had very good experiences with the few kids from the neighborhood, and he wasn't very willing to repeat what happened with the other two stupid boys. The girl in the compartment raised her head, startled, making visible a pair of round night-blue eyes, framed by her long, thick eyelashes. Lily half-opened the door and smiled with sympathy.

"Do you mind?" She asked, pointing alternatively at the compartment, her, and the boy.

"Not at all," whispered the little girl timidly, leaving the book aside.

Lily entered smiling, dragging an unsociable Severus, who sat in a corner, very serious.

"Thank you," said the redhead, "The train is so full! We couldn't find seats."

"Yes, I know, I arrived to the station very late, and was afraid I wouldn't find a seat…  but this compartment was free, just at the end of the train," agreed the girl, looking at her hands, and only out of the corner of her eye at her new classmate.

"My name is Lily Evans. Lily." She said, holding out his hand to her with a friendly smile, already forgetting Petunia and the boys' incident, "And this is Severus Snape."

Severus slightly nodded towards the brunette.

"I'm Brianna Boot," greeted the girl, shaking Lily's hand and smiling to both of them. She had a beautiful wide smile, which bubbled over with warmth. "You can call me Bree."

The redhead, cheerful again, began chatting with Brianna who, after losing her shyness, turned out to be an extremely nice and interesting partner. Usually she was quiet, but Lily, being friends with Severus, knew how to make conversation. When half an hour of journey had went by, during the one the boy had limited to stare the wall, answering in monosyllables each time his friend tried to include him in the conversation (after which she had gave up), the door opened again, really abruptly. Lily raised her head, slightly annoyed, and Bree, surprised.

"I'm sorry," said the girl who was guilty of the interruption, blushing. She was tall for her age (around eleven years old, like them), and had an amazing hair, extremely straight and black, that fell gracefully on her back. A fringe, a little bit too long, covered part of her deep chocolate eyes.

"I didn't mean to bother. But the boys in my compartment are complete jerks; they haven't stopped messing with me since the train took off, with me, or with anyone passing by."

Lily smiled, understandingly, with a slight idea of who the previously mentioned boys could be. She looked for a second at her partner, who shrugged her shoulders, nodding.

"You can stay, if you want to. Here there's plenty of room," she said for Severus's consternation, who sulked even more.

"Thanks a lot," smiled the newcomer while shaking the girls' hands and then waving at the boy, who had his arms strongly folded across his chest.

"My name is Samantha Perks. Sam, if you want.

"Pleased to meet you. Lily, Lily Evans."

"Brianna Boot"

Lily elbowed her friend, who looked at her, visibly irritated.

"Severus Snape," he muttered, looking somewhere else.

Samantha stared at him curiously and sat next to Bree, joining the conversation with confidence.

When the train stopped, it was night already. The girls, still chatting happily, went down the train together and sat in one of the boats,following the huge gamekeeper. Snape, who had insisted with his silence during the whole trip, was dragged by his sleeve by Lily, who couldn't stop smiling. Severus, in spite of himself, ended up smiling her back, winning a hug from her friend. The other two girls looked at them with curiosity, but didn't ask anything and kept chattering.

Once they were in the Great Hall, Lily forgot everything and everybody. She stood spellbound gaping at the immense starry sky shining in the ceiling, until she heard the professor started calling the students. Then, nervousness flooded her, and she stood really stiff, gazing at the hat. She could barely smile at Bree, who waved her hand at her while running towards the Gryffindor table, in front of that smug kid, Black.

"Evans, Lily!"

     The girl jumped in her place and walked forward on trembling legs and sit down upon the rickety stool. Professor McGonagall dropped the Sorting Hat onto her head, and barely a second after it had touched the dark red hair, the hat cried, "Gryffindor!"

      Snape let out a tiny groan. Lily took off the hat, handed it back to Professor McGonagall, then hurried toward the cheering Gryffindor's, but as she went she glanced back at Snape, and there was a sad little smile on her face. Sirius moved up the bench to make room for her. She took one look at him, folded her arms, and firmly turned her back on him

     The roll call continued. A really pale boy, with rings under his eyes, light brown hair and sad, honey-coloured eyes sat opposite Lily, who looked at him with sympathy and a wide smile. The boy looked at her slightly surprised, and gave her a little smile. At that moment, the boy from the train, Black, stretched on the table, pushing a little an annoyed Lily and tipping over an empty glass, in order to hold out his hand to the new Gryffindor.

"Whassup? I'm Sirius Black. Congrats, huh?" Sirius seemed extremely happy and satisfied with his house.

"I'm Remus Lupin," answered the boy, stretching his classmate's hand, surprised again. He looked really happy too.

     Lily continued talking with Bree, until "Perks, Samantha" was called. Both of them cheered enthusiastically her new friend when she, after hearing the hat yell  "Gryffindor!", ran towards them and flopped down into the seat on the other side of Lily.

"Uff!" She sighed, with a hand on her stomach, "I'm so hungry!"

"And there are still a few more to be sorted…" Sirius confirmed. Samantha looked at him, and Lily's suspicions were proved when her friend threw him a scornful look and kept on chatting with her friends.

     Minutes later, a chubby, short kid with sand-coloured hair and rodent features who answered to the name of Peter Pettigrew fell on the table. He seemed really fearful, and smiled thankful when Sirius invited him to sit next to Remus, in front of him.

     When Professor McGonagall's powerful voice called "Potter, James", Sirius interrupted the conversation and raised his head, but before he could finish doing it, the hat had roared "Gryffindor!", as soon as it brushed the boy's head. A pleased James approached the table and sat between Sirius and Lily, who sighed annoyed. The boy noticed it and looked at her with a boastful smile.

"Hey, redhead. Are we in a better mood already? Where's your friend, Snivellus? He mustn't be very happy that you ended up on Gryffindor, must he?"

Lily gave him a look of deep contempt, her emerald eyes sparkling once again. But exactly at that moment, she heard they were calling "Snape, Severus",  and watched sadly as her friend sat on the farthest table, and a blond prefect patted his back.
*end of flashback*

"Lily?" a voice called, interrupting her thoughts.

"Coming, mum!" answered the girl, running towards the stairs and taking her bag before leaving.
A marauder's story, First Chapter.
Ook, this is the first chapter of my first longfic, originally written in spanish, and as I said, I'll be thrilled to receive reviews with constructive critiques on my story and grammar/vocabulary
If there's any contradiction with the books, please let me know, because I tried to make it as canon as possible

The first two or three chapter may be a little bit boring, as they consist mainly on flashbacks. The reason for them to be like that is that i didn't want to start writing from year one, but i wanted you to know some things that happened in the first two years, which happened before the marauder's 3rd year (around 1973, I think), which is where the story begins

Disclaimer:
Lily, lthe marauders, Sevie and everything you can recognise belongs to JKR
Brianna y Sam are mine ;)

EDIT: A HUGE thank you to *Scottie-Bailey who helped me with my english editing my work. She did an excellent job, I truly appreciate it!

Link to the folder where the whole story is: [link]
© 2011 - 2024 bluebran
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phabi-chama's avatar
this is crazy how you translated the whole thing!!!! i'm learning spanish right now, and i could never write a whole book on itt!!!!!!!! and this is a really good story too!<3 lol..i just started reading it but its sooo good